Captian Cabinets Sketch - (based on the Captian Cabinets Crimp from The Mighty Boosh)

Captain Cabinets

Opening Titles – captain cabinets crimp.

Captain Cabinet’s stands out side the reptile room of the Zooneiverse.

Captain Cabinets: Hello, and welcome to this week’s Captain Cabinets and I, Captain Cabinets as your host as always. This week we have Mrs. Gideon, from Bob Fossil’s Zooneiverse. Let’s go and investigate shall we. 

Captain Cabinet’s walks into the reptile room to a cabinet with a snake tank on it (camera fallows) Captain Cabinet’s then crouches down to cabinet. Opens it. And begins to interview Mrs. Gideon (who is inside).

Captain Cabinets: Mrs. Gideon how did you get trapped in this cabinet?

Mrs. Gideon: well you see I was cleaning out my python and crouched down to get a rag from the back of this cabinet. I had to climb quite far back. Anyway, one of the other zookeepers came in, I can’t remember his name he is quite generic looking. I think he’s friends with Vince.

Captain Cabinets: I don’t mean to interrupt but, is Vince one of the other zookeepers here at the Zooneiverse?

Mrs. Gideon:  Yes.

Captain Cabinets: Okay, now pleases continue.

Mrs. Gideon: Well like I was saying, Vince’s friend came in, probably to leave a bag of mice for the snakes. He must not have seen me and shut the cabinet.

Captain Cabinets: Well what a story Mrs. Gideon. (Stands up and looks to camera shutting cabinet on Mrs. Gideon she says ow!) We’ll be back with Mrs. Gideon later. But for now we are going to interview general manger Bob Fossil.

(Cut to interview with Fossil)

Captain Cabinets: Now Mr. Fossil what do you have to say about this?

Fossil: God dammit Moon! You will pay for this!

Captain Cabinets: Thank you. (Turn to camera.) Now let’s go back to Mrs. Gideon for one final statement before we help her out. (Turns and crouches down to speak to Mrs. Gideon) so, Mrs Gideon what do you make of all of this?

Mrs. Gideon: well, at first I was nonplussed but now I am wondering, can I get out? Will I get out?

Captain Cabinets: Of course you will. (Reaches out there hand and pull Mrs. Gideon out.)

Captain Cabinets stands up and faces camera

Captain Cabinets: Well that has brought tonight’s episode of “Captain Cabinets”  to an end. Thank you and goodnight.

Closing titles – captain cabinets crimp.