INT. KITCHEN - DAY
VLOGGER is standing at her KITCHEN COUNTER
VLOGGER
Hey, guys! Today I'll be trying a new fad food that's being doing the rounds online. If you've been online you'll know what I'm talking about. I mean it's even been all over the news and everything! Buuut. In case you have been asleep or actually dead for the last few weeks... then, the best way to describe it... it's the newest, most addictive super food. It's full of protein and it can be eaten as a meal or sliced up thinly as a snack. (Beat) One thing to note is it's not vegan but neither am I. Soooo.... Follow me along my trendy food journey.
SUPER: Shopping Time!
FADE OUT:
INT. KITCHEN - SAME DAY
Vlogger is back in front of her kitchen counter.
VLOGGER
So... I'm back. First major bummer, was my local chain coffee shop was empty. Like, almost as if it was abandoned. Like everything was turned over. No cakes, the window was broken, and no staff. So no coffee. Booo.
Vlogger pouts.
VLOGGER
I guess you'll get some B roll of me making my own here at home later. Anyway... after that, I got to the shop. The one I saw on the news. Where they first talked about the food going viral. (Beat) It was so cute seeing that old news presenter call it a virus by accident. Bless.
Vlogger does a sympathetic head tilt.
VLOGGER
Second bummer of the trip. A crazy lady ran at me from across the shop. Her arms were flailing, she was drooling and yelling at me about the food. Over and over again. Like lady chill. They'll restock the most popular product. God-uh! Then she bit me! Like ew. Look at this!
Vlogger shows her arm to the camera. It's red and bruised with a ring of teeth marks.
VLOGGER
Anyway. I can't wait any longer. The whole thing has made me so, so, so, SO hungry... I'm like ravenous.
Vlogger lifts up a PLASTIC SHOPPING BAG. It's RED with BLOOD. She shoves her head in. Eating like a wild animal.
S/F - gnawing and tearing sounds.
She pulls her head out of the bag. Her face is covered in blood. Her eyes have dark circles around them.
VLOGGER
Shout out to today's sponsor...
Vlogger drops the bag, her head droops, her arms stick out and she walks across the scene.
VLOGGER
Braaaaiiins...
Vlogger exits.
FADE OUT:
END OF SKETCH