Int - A new mother (M) is sat with new born in her arms. Smoke appears and dissipates revealing a hag, Baba Yaga (BY) in a dramatic pose.
BY: Behold, I am Baba Yaga! You promised me your first born 10 years ago.
M: Oh that I was like reeeaally drunk and reaaaally hungry so I was like "Bring me a kabab oh Baba Yaga and I promise to you my first born child." Then my best mate Babs bought me a kabab. But I wasn't serious.
BY: Nerveless I am here to claim what is mine. Now give me the -
They are interrupted by the same smoke as before but this time it reveals (in a similar dramatic pose) a second witch, Black Annis (BA)
BA: I am Black Annis and I am here to claim what is - (pause) wait Baba is that you?
BY: Yes! And I am here to claim what is mine! (With all the drama and flair as before).
BA: I was promised this ladies first born many moons ago.
BY: That's great Annis but I was promised first so off you pop (Shooing BA away and now fussing over the baby) Coochy coochy coo I can't wait to eat you.
BA: Wait eat? No, no, no! I will accept you being the first here and I'll even accept you being the first promised sure! But I will not put up with you trying to steal my thing again. I am the baby eater that's my whole things!
BY: (Suddenly turning to BA stepping away from the baby again) How dare you! Do you devour human flesh? Yes. Do you prefer the taste of children? Yes! But I am the witch bitch that loves to kidnap and roast babies. Now new mother (turned to M, now much calmer), please give me what is -
Interrupted by the same smoke again. Revealing Lilith (L) in a dramatic pose.
L: (Eco demon voice) Mortal I have come to-
BY: (Annoyed) Well who the hell is this now?!
L: (Eco demon voice, annoyed) Well I was just away to do my dramatic reveal but you've ruined that haven't you! Lilith (now to mother) BTW, bride to Satan you will have heard of me. (Back in dramatic pose) And I have-
All 3: (Lilith being dramatic and the others mocking) Come to claim what is mine.
L: (Eco demon voice) Wait no you haven't promised your first born to these two hags as well?
M: Well I was drunk all the time in my twenties and I offered you my first born when I was in my edgy phase as a teenager. And didn't think any of you were real!
L: (Eco demon voice) Well it is now mine so hand it over. It has been absolute hell for me and the prince of darkness Mr. Satan himself to adopt! Don't even get me started! Like so first, we had to -
L is rambling in the background about the process while BY and BA roll their eyes and huff
BY & BA: Oh no here we go.
M sneaks off with the baby. The witches and Lilith are oblivious to M now
BY: I'm not staying here and listening to her. See you later Annis!
BY Disappears into smoke.
BA: Oh no you're not leaving me with her! Forget it Lil you can have the babe I'm off!
BA awkwardly leaves the shot by walking off. No smoke.
L still pacing and rambling ("And another thing...")
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