TV INTRO - MONTAGE OF FANTASY COUPLE SHOTS - VARIOUS TIMES OF DAY AND LOCATIONS
Upbeat music play.
NARRATOR
Today on fantasy couples, we have a double parchment special episode for you. Two unlikely couples. Two uniquely problematic situations. Can these fantasy couples stand a tale as old as time? Or will they bipity bopity file for a divorce? Find out in tonight's program now!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT - COTTAGE - DAY
Two women sit on a sofa in their cottage living room. On the left is a frumpy fairy godmother. On the right is a classic evil stepmother.
NARRATOR
First up on tonight's double parchment, we have MRS. and MRS. Evil-Godmother.
INTERVIEWER
(off camera, to the couple)
How did you two meet?
STEPMOTHER
Will I tell it or will you?
FAIRY GODMOTHER
I think it’s best if I do honey.
STEPMOTHER
It’s such a funny story.
The stepmother begins to evil laugh before stifling it.
FAIRY GODMOTHER
So, I was summoned by Cindy, my beloved’s stepdaughter.
STEPMOTHER
Ex-step daughter.
FAIRY GODMOTHER.
Yes. Of course. Ex-step daughter.
STEPMOTHER
She was crying, and crying because I locked her in the basement.
FAIRY GODMOTHER
So, at first, I was obviously like, poor thing that’s horrible. Don’t worry dear, I’ll magic up a nice carriage to take you to the prince's party.
STEPMOTHER
Basically to crash the party and force the prince to marry her. So who's the really evil one here?
FAIRY GODMOTHER
Anyway, I went to check the coast was clear to sneak Cindy out. And there she was. My beautiful wife. In the most gorgeous ball gown. I was like Cindy darling you never said she was cute!
STEPMOTHER
I saw her there and was like WTF who are you and why on earth are you in my house?
FAIRY GODMOTHER
And that's when I pushed Cindy back down those basement stairs and locked the door magically. I smoothly said your chariot awaits. Bipty bopity boo. We fell in love.
Evil stepmother evil laughs for an excessive amount of time.
STEPMOTHER
Wait. I didn’t know you magically locked the door. I thought she just ran away when I divorced her dad.
FAIRY GODMOTHER
No, she’s still in the basement.
STEPMOTHER
Do you feed her then?
FAIRY GODMOTHER
Ehhh… you know, I can’t really remember.
STEPMOTHER
I’m sure she’ll be fine,
CUT TO:
Some warning text is displayed on screen. It is written on parchment paper.
NARRATOR
Our camera crew was able to capture footage of the basement from a small window. Viewer discretion is advised. But also remember it is fantasy characters so you know, up to you.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT - BASEMENT - SAME DAY
We see a skeleton in a blue ball gown, a rotten pumpkin and a dead rat.
Another photo montage of various locations plays.
NARRATOR
Up next on tonight's Fantasy Couples Double Parchment Special, We have Mr. and Mrs. Prince. Where we find out how long does a typical prince curse last? Find out as Mr and Mrs Prince seek advice from a professional cursed couple counsellor and prince-cursing witch!
INT - COUNCILLORS OFFICE - DAY
A wicked witch is sitting in a chair. Mr. and Mrs. Prince are sitting on the sofa. Mr. Prince is a frog. Mrs. Prince is a human princess. The Wicked Witch is taking notes as they talk.
WICKED WITCH
Welcome Mr and Mrs Prince. What brings you here today?
MRS PRINCE
Well-
Mr. Prince ribbots.
MRS PRINCE
One thing he’s been doing a lot actually, is interrupting but really the main reason is, as you can probably see…
WICKED WITCH
He’s a frog.
MRS PRINCE
Yeah.
NARRATOR
Has Mrs. Prince finally come to terms that her husband is just a frog and not actually a prince at all?
MRS PRINCE
He was like, cursed a few years ago or something. I’ve kissed him a whole bunch and we even got married and still nothing.
WICKED WITCH
Right, well that is a surprisingly long time. Was the witch's condition for the curse true love's first kiss or marrying a princess then?
MRS PRINCE
Oh, I don’t know.
WICKED WITCH
Oh, so you weren't there when the curse took place? Well, that would make things more tricky. But luckily I have a few contacts I could maybe find the witch that cast the curse. Do you know what he might have done to provoke the witch? Just that each wicked witch has their own unique reasons for cursing someone. Like mine are slow talkers. Like just spit it out already. It’s almost like they want to be cursed.
MRS PRINCE
Well, ok so funny story. Actually, kinda cute meet situation. I met him after he was already cursed.
WICKED WITCH
So you saw a frog.
MRS PRINCE
A prince.
WICKED WITCH
Sure. You saw a “prince” in his “cursed” form and thought oh I wanna smooch that?
MRS PRINCE
Eh, yeah. To break him of his curse.
WICKED WITCH
(Under her breath)
Took the hottest prince to prom but still ended up with a toad.
MRS PRINCE
What?
WICKED WITCH
Nothing.
MRS PRINCE
At first, it was just about saving him but then we got to talking.
WICKED WITCH
With a frog?
MRS PRINCE
First of all, do your contacts deal with interrupting? Because there seems to be a lot of that going on.
Mr. Prince Ribbots.
MRS PRINCE
Don’t you start! Obviously, I did most of the talking at first. But I told him things I have never told anyone. Like how I was the one who told everyone at my high school that this witch wet the bed but really it was my maid Cindy. And like I loved the way he would eat the little blue grubs I’d feed him on picnics. Like I’d put them right in front of him. Like basically in his mouth. And his tongue would shoot out and completely miss the gross grub thingys. He’d then start to nom on his leg trying to get it. Anyway,
Mrs Prince brushes her hair out of her face.
MRS PRINCE
(Cont.)
I think he must have been a kind of famous hunter-prince before he was cursed or something. Like he was just playing with his prey or something.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT - COUNCILORS OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY
The wicked witch is being interviewed behind her desk. Off camera, we hear the interviewer.
INTERVIEWER
Do you think the prince is cursed?
WICKED WITCH
Clearly, the princess just went and found a frog in a nearby pond and decided to take it home. I mean clearly, she’s desperate to marry just anything that might be a prince. I went to high school with her. So, trust me. She would do anything to find a boyfriend other than settle for the court jester. Oh and clearly she doesn’t remember me. She is partly the reason I became a wicked witch rather than one of those nice ones. You know the ones from Terry Pratchett with the pointy hats.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT - MR PRINCES ROOM - THAT EVENING
Mr Prince is sitting on a huge king bed.
NARRATOR
Our crew decided to interview Mr Prince to get the answers we were looking for.
INTERVIEWER
How long do you think the curse will last Mr Prince?
Mr. Prince just sits there.
INTERVIEWER
Mr. Prince?
Mr. Prince ribbots then hops away.
INTERVIEWER
What a waste of my -
CUT TO:
Some text on screen appears. It is written on parchment paper. The narrator reads it out.
NARRATOR
Our crew's interviews and research show that Mr. Prince is in fact just a frog and not a prince at all.
CUT TO:
Images come on screen as the narrator summarises what happened to both couples.
NARRATOR
Tonight's episode comes to a close. But what happened to our double parchment fantasy couples? Mrs. Prince says her husband has run away. She is distraught but our crew caught this photo of the royal gardener releasing the frog into a nearby pond. Most likely where Mrs Prince found him in the first place.
Images of Mrs. Prince beside a picture of the frog crying flash up followed by the gardener releasing the frog into a pond
NARRATOR
(Cont.)
Mrs. and Mrs. Evil-Godmother were arrested by the crown guards for the kidnapping and murder of Cindy, last name unknown. They are awaiting trial in the next coming months.
An image of Mrs. and Mrs. Evil-Godmother in handcuffs being escorted into a pumpkin carriage with blue flashing lights on.
NARRATOR
(Cont.)
That's all for tonight's episode. Thank you for watching and goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment