EXT - DAY - PARK
Two women, LADY and PARK LADY are standing in a park chatting.
PARK LADY
What's new with you then?
LADY
Oh, I’m thinking of getting a dog actually.
PARK LADY
Oh, are you sure? You’ll have to take it for walks you know?
LADY
I do go for walks every day.
PARK LADY
Even in the rain?
LADY
Sometimes.
PARK LADY
See, you haven’t thought about that, have you?
LADY
The walks are the reason I want a dog.
PARK LADY
Well, what about the cost? They cost a fortune I’ll have you know.
LADY
I was going to adopt.
PARK LADY
But there's vet bills, food. Oh God! You’ve not have you?
Park Lady is looking around dramatically to see if anyone is looking. Making a display.
LADY
Of what?
PARK LADY
Tsk. Tsk. You haven’t EVEN thought about feeding it!
LADY
Of course, I know I have to feed a dog!
PARK LADY
Oh, and, well, I don’t want to get too much into it but...
Park Lady leans way too close to Lady’s face. Looking to see if anyone is around.
PARK LADY
(In a whisper)
Have you thought about when it comes to toilet time?
Lady takes a big step back.
LADY
Do you have to be that close? I could smell your breath. Why is it so cheesy?
PARK LADY
Avoiding the question I see.
Park Lady folds her arms
LADY
I have a garden. Plus there’s the twice daily walks so…
PARK LADY
Twice! Do you want to walk your dog to death?
LADY
What? Two walks a day is great!
[ARK LADY
My son doesn’t walk his dog twice a day. Or even in the rain! Just cruel. Didn’t you have a budgie when you were little?
LADY
Yes, why?
PARK LADY
And who fed it?
LADY
me.
PARK LADY
Every day?
LADY
Well, mum sometimes-
PARK LADY
See, careless.
LADY
I was five!
PARK LADY
And what will your excuse be when your poor doggie, Bruno dies of starvation after he has already been mistreated and left in the pound?
LADY
First of all, why are you being so graphic? Secondly, since when has my dog been called Bruno?
PARK LADY
What about a fish?
LADY
I can’t walk a fish.
PARK LADY
No, but it would be less cruel to kill a fish.
LADY
(Loudly, frustrated)
I’m not going to kill a fish or a dog!
A woman (DOG WALKER)out walking her dog passes.
DOG WALKER
Horrible! Come along now Bruno.
LADY
I said I’m NOT going to… oh forget it.
The dog walker hurries off. Park Lady waits until she’s gone before talking again.
PARK LADY
Bet she doesn’t feed it.
SKETCH END
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