INT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Some friends (DM, CLERIC, PLAYER, ROGUE) sit around a table playing Dungeons and Dragons.
DM
As you finish talking to the lovely shop owner, you all notice a child, stealing bread. What do you do?
CLERIC
I calmly stop the child and try to ask him why he is stealing.
ROGUE
I distract the shopkeeper, to give them time to work it out.
PLAYER
I grab the kid, pin him up against the stall and pull out my dagger.
CLERIC
Woah, woah!
DM
What? For stealing?
ROGUE
Yeah, a bit dark Derek.
Player will now be referred to as DEREK.
DEREK
It’s what my character would do.
CLERIC
Just because they’re evil doesn’t mean you have to kill children.
DEREK
Look, I’m just roleplaying. It is what my character would do.
DM
Uhh… I guess. Ok As you pull out your dagger, you feel a hand on your shoulder. It’s a guardsman.
DM
(Cont. Doing a different voice)
I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Not worth it. Lot of thieves around these parts. Mostly hungry kids.
CLERIC
Thank God.
ROGUE
Let’s just pay for the bread and then go.
CUT TO:
INT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Same DnD set-up as before.
DM
The goblins beg for mercy.
DM
(Cont in goblin voice)
Please, please don’t kill us!
ROGUE
I say: You will flee this place and never return. Do we have-
DEREK
I slit their throats.
CLERIC
What why?
ROGUE
It’s what his-
DEREK
It’s what my character would do.
DM
Ok.. you kill the goblins. Just as you finish them off, 2 figures approach.
CLERIC
Oh no.
ROGUE
Please don’t be the children.
Dm
(Young goblin voice)
Mum, Dad, noooo!
CLERIC
Dammit, Derek!
DEREK
It’s what my character would do!
CUT TO:
INT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Same DnD set-up as before.
DM
You finally come face to face with the Evil Wizard what do you do?
DEREK
I kneel before him pleading my allegiance.
ROGUE
Of course. Let me guess, to prove his loyalty we’ll have to fight him and the Evil Wizard too, just because that’s what his character would do?
DM
Pretty much.
CLERIC
Before he turns, I slit his throat shouting ‘Die fowl demon’.
DEREK
That’s not fair.
CLERIC
Why? It’s what my character would do.
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