INT - DAY - SPORTS HALL
LADY and LASSIE are sitting on the bleachers.
LASSIE
Which one is your granddaughter then?
LADY
I can’t tell with all their helmets and stuff on. But she said she’d have a star on hers. But only sometimes.
LASSIE
Well, that’s not very helpful.
LADY
And she’ll have a number on her top. Twenty-something. But I can’t remember.
LASSIE
She’s been very vague. How is she expecting us to see her?
LADY
Shhhh! It’s about to start.
Off camera, we hear a ref call ‘Five seconds’ followed by a whistle.
LASSIE
Where’s the ball?
LADY
No, don’t be silly. There’s no ball. The one with the star gets pushed around the track until she knocks someone down.
LASSIE
Kinda like bowling then?
LADY
Must be.
LASSIE
Oi! Watch it! Ref! That girl was just shoved.
LADY
Oh no, dear. That’s allowed apparently. It’s a very rough game.
LASSIE
A full rumbly-tumbly sport then?
The crowd cheers.
LADY
Oh! Someone must have bowled a point. We should cheer something.
LASSIE
Shall we cheer for your granddaughter?
LADY
Shall we?
LASSIE
Go on then. You first.
The cheering stops.
LADY
Best wait for the next time.
LASSIE
Why is she pointing at her crotch?
LADY
Rude girl.
LASSIE
Oh wait, no. Look the score changed when she did that.
LADY
Oh yeah. She got 4 bowls.
LASSIE
Why 4?
LADY
I guess because she pointed 4 times?
LASSIE
If all you have to do is point there. Then we could have a go, couldn’t we?
LADY
Shall we ask to sign up at the break?
LASSIE
Wait, no I can’t.
LADY
Because the hits are too hard and you almost broke your toe stubbing it on your drawers the other day?
LASSIE
No.
LADY
Or because we don’t know how to skate?
LASSIE
Well, it’s just, is practice a Tuesday? I cannae be doing a Tuesday.
LADY
Why not?
LASSIE
It’s bin night. I’m not going out and doing all that just to go back out for the bins.
LADY
Did I tell you how much those skates I got her cost?
LASSIES
30?
LADY
SO much more!
LASSIE
80?
LADY
Nope!
LASSIE
100?
LADY
140!
LASSIE
No?
LADY
Yes.
LASSIE
Nooo?
LADY
Yup.
LASSIE
N-
Lady slaps Lassie.
LADY
Enough!
Cheering starts again.
LADY
Go team!
LASSIE
Woo number 20 or so!
The cheering stops.
LASSIE
What if we did that girls job? The one over their sitting.
LADY
That’s where you get sent when you’ve been naughty.
LASSIE
The naughty box then?
A whistle blows. The crowd cheers. Lady and Lassie start pulling out sandwiches and thermoses of tea. They cheers their thermoses.
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