Competition - Sketch

 INT - DAY - COFFEE SHOP

Two women (LADY and MISSUS) are sitting at a table.

LADY

So, how are things? It’s been aaaagggees!

MISSUS

Alright, how are you?

LADY

Terrible.

MISSUS

Same. (Beat) I mean… shame. What happened?

LADY

First of all, I was late to work the other morning.

MISSUS

By how much?

LADY

Oh, five… maybe ten minutes.

MISSUS

Oh, that’s nothing. The other week I was about an hour late.

LADY

Yeah, well the other month I didn't even show up one Monday. (Beat) Oh! Oh! And I got fired.

MISSUS

Oh… well my car broke down. (Beat) On the way here.

LADY

How awful. It’s almost as bad as when my car got stolen. (Beat) Uhm… with me still in it.

MISSUS

How did that happen?

LADY

I was napping in the back because I had such a hard day at work. Then, smash goes the window, in jumps the thief and off went the car. Then when he stopped and got out to flog it I jumped in the front seat and drove home.

MISSUS

So you got it back then.

LADY

He shot at me.

Lady is starting to tear up as she remembers. 

MISSUS

So, they missed. Not as bad then.

LADY

Police are still watching my house in case they come back.

MISSUS

But, you’re fine.

LADY

I’m still in therapy actually.

MISSUS

Yeah, well I broke my leg!

LADY

When?

MISSUS

Now!

Missus stands up and snaps her leg. She looks at Lady and screams in pain. Lady looks at Missus’s leg and screams in horror.

LADY

Why did you do that!?

MISSUS

I had to win!

LADY

Why didn’t you make something up? I did!

MISSUS

What…?

Missus faints from the pain.

SKETCH END